I promise you a place in Hell

In our lives, we will come to cross roads often, and make decisions that we might one day regret.

I have come across many such junctions in life, made many wrong judgements and assumptions, often thinking they are for the best but in reality they were only decisions made out of distress.

I have allowed myself to be , in simple language, to be “ prostituted by many, friends and foes alike.

I have lost many so called friends due to my tough stance on principles and civil liberties.

I dare say that even family members have walked away, but it more due to the fact that I am costly to have a relationship with as I am sickly.

Tonight as I lie in bed, after being used yet again by an influential person in the sports industry, I have come to terms with the fact that being honest, forthright, upfront and trying to be corruption free has no place in this tainted sports industry,

All this talk that we often hear, passion, love for sports, duty to the nation, the badge we wear on our chest, this is just one big fat lie.

Ever since 2014 when I lost my toe, almost losing my foot, to 2015 when I lost my kidneys, I have tried to earn a decent living, tried to put in place a style where corruption and abuse of power has no place,

But it ended up an exercise in futility, I could not secure a job to put food on the table, let alone the mounting medical bills.

So much so that over the past 4 years I have somewhat depleted my savings, now eating into my EPF contributions , all for the sake of trying to stay alive,

But is life truly worth living AF this rate?

I have now decided to close shop, both in terms of my small little office at Wisma OCM, give up living in Kuala Lumpur, and in two months give up dialysis as well.

Over the past few months I have battled with a thyroid issue that has affected my bones. Making them weak and brittle

I have tried even intravenous medication three tines a week, gone in oral medication that costs a bomb a month, but all this is in vain I suppose.

Unlike other patients, those with kidney issues have a choice as to when and how they will die,

Stop dialysis, and all it takes is for a matter of days for water to fill your lungs, this effectively slowing your heart.

And death comes after suffering but then again just think, it is the end of suffering.

So why seek death when there is so much to live for one may ask?

It all boils down to one thing – do I sacrifice my very principles I lived for and exchange them for a chance to carry on living on this world of personalities that are failed in humanity?

Leaders, Administrators, President, CEO’s, Secretary Generals, General Manager’s – all these, and you know who you are, are total scumbags, idiots of the highest order, for I pray with whatever life I have left that you all will rot in hell.

I pray that Karma will not spare you and your family and to those who used me, I swear to God that you will be in my daily prayers till I depart that you and your entire generation of family will suffer so much that you too will be begging for death.

From now on, I have no friends, no colleagues, no individual that I will count on,

You make a mistake in sports, I will tear you apart.

Want to sue me, go ahead. Do it, I have been there as well.

You can win damages and take whatever body parts I have still working for I sure do not have money that you greed for.

After all you guys made enough through your corrupt practices in life that will last at least three generations of your family,

But the same money will eventually make you rot in hell, I swear by God that you will pay.