Taking a forced break

Ever watched the Hindi film titled “ Dosti”.

If you have not then I suggest you watch it once and then decide what relationships , especially where friendships are better then blood relationships , entail in lives,

In short the movie is about a physically disabled boy (Sushil Kumar) and his blind friend (Sudhir Kumar) develop a growing friendship and an interdependence.

I relate to this movie as I consider myself as Sushil and Sudhir, for I am handicap as well as partially blind,

And I try preserve to the best of my ability despite difficult physical liabilities in addition to not having a steady income since 4 years ago.

But God indeed works in a mysterious way.

Four years after removing my little toe, multiple operations to re-construct the sole of my left foot through grafting, two weeks ago the problem resurfaced.

And it’s back to the operating table next week to try to fix what it wrong.

To many an operation is normal but when you are a dialysis patient, the equation changes.

Having sat down with my surgeon and anaesthesia, several steps were explained and unlike before, this is not a walk in the park situation where I get wheeled in, cut, patch, fix, repair and off I go.

This time it’s entails adjusting my dialysis sessions, staying over at the hospital Abd numerous tests before surgery.

So what will it cost? In total my left foot since 2014 cost me RM60k and add another RM12k to that next week.

With no fixed income for past 4 years, so called family support non existence, it is going to be a battle settling the credit card bills over the next few months.

So I need to get about fast to recover the “ losses” and get enough work to offset the bills.

Putting that aside, on my domestic front life has been difficult for the past 15 months.

Least said better but suffice to say blood is never thicker then water. That is a myth that everyone should get out of your heads.

I have gone out of my way to help “ blood” when they were in dire straits, from the extent of bringing some up, saving marriages, getting them high fly jobs, the works, being there when it matters,

But in return all I get is a snub, because today I am an invalid, a born loser, a person not worth giving second looks. Money talks these days hence blood remains thicker without HB injections but rather with the face of the first Yang DiPertuan Agong.

I am truly fortunate though that I have some genuine friends, thicker then blood.

These are people who I need not name but show genuine concern for my well being, non after anything in return but show compassion in the name of humanity:

To them I salute as they have stayed firm as friends no matter what differences we have had.

I pen this as I will be taking a break from blogging till I recover sufficiently from the operation and am able to get in my feet ( hopefully both still there after operation).

I seek solace in God, turning to our creator in our hours of need as will every human being.

I seek His guidance as I go another acid test in life, trying to remain strong and confident but deep down inside even I know it’s a tough battle to be the same.

I have always stated firm to my principles in life, though I cannot say the same of others whose sane DNA flow through the veins.

Till I recover. A silent prayer for my successful operation and recovery is all I seek from my readers.