Mum: My Pillar of Strength, Then and Now

July 7, 2013

That date will forever be etched in my mind.

That was a day when time stopped still.

The love of my life, the crown jewel, the be it all left me in a state of shock and despair.

It was 10.04pm at the CCU KL Hospital that they doctors pronounced the death of my beloved mother Gurmel Kaur.

The effects were devastating to me over the next few years.

I lost my toe the following April, my kidneys a year later, followed by both my corneas over 2014 and 2015.

I lost all my Hockey jobs in 2015 and was rendered an invalid and penniless.

Any lesser a person would have taken things lying down and await his date with God.

I went through a depression, lost weight until I was only 72 kilos, mostly bones, as I was akin to the walking dead.

This frail looking skeleton was a goner many predicted.

But I could not fail my

Mum, for I had whiskers into her ears as I saw the machines shutting down one after another , “ Time to go Mum, I will look after Dad, I promise you.”

And I had to stay alive, to make sure my promise to Mum lived on.

My Dad is now 88, going on to 89, and those who have aged parents will know the task I endure.

Still it’s something that I look forward to doing – never mind the trips up and down from Tampin to KL, eating into my deleted savings.

We all go through tough times in life, but then we tough times are not your creation , will you blame it on karma or just the fact that some people have no heart,

Many a time I am told that my writings prevent me from getting a decent paying or even a paying job,

Telling the truth or writing the truth is a virtue that I learnt from my late mum.

The golden principle that my late Mum taught me was this – “ live within your means, if you earn RM1, spend only 80 cents and keep 20 cents for a rainy day.”

Sound advise Mum, but when rainy days DOSK over 5 years, no amount of 20 cents will last that long.

I have been tempted, coerced, threatened, bullied, sued into shutting up,

But I prevailed and I will continue to prevail for the truth of the matter is I will rather die a pauper then live an unprincipled life that many do.

Those in sports have to remember only one thing to never face my wrath – be in sports to serve sports, not let sports serve you.

Anyway the story of four cud is Mum.

Life post Mum has taught me one important lesson – that is to trust no one.

The journey post Mum has been arduous, lonely, heart wrenching and above all mind boggling at times.

So how did I cope with it? My task all more complicated with the numerous medical issues?

It’s all due to one thing – my passion and desire for sports.

I remember in 1980 when I was awaiting my MCE results, I was be ridden as I tore the ligament in my left knee at a small padang match in Tampin.

That set me thinking as my playing career was over. And I started forming my first Hockey team – Tampin Old Boys.

And until today I have looked back over the 40 year period , being involved in various sports and capacities.

Never once did I seek reward for my efforts, never once did I place players above myself, never once I placed my family above sports.

U dare say that from 1980 to 2014, most weekends I was away from home, all because of sports.

And it was Mum that was my pillar of strength as I was cross crossing the globe in my tasks

No matter where I was, there was a pattern – an early morning call to Mum, to see how she was doing.

Each day I miss her more but each day I gain strength from her memories.’

I know she is in the heavens, looking upon me and dad, still caring for the both of us, as lovingly as she did for my 57 years of existence.

So cherish your loved ones, past and present, stay focussed no matter how tough life is for one will eventually succeed if they hold in to principles in life.

Truth shall always prevail, bitterness is temporary but let it be known that you are still standing and walking the path of honesty and principled.

For eventually God rewards you, sooner or later, it will come.

Stay blessed all, say a prayer for Mum.